Father’s Day and Mental Health: How Anxiety Therapy in Seattle Supports Dads Facing Loss or Fertility Challenges

Father’s Day is June 15th. June is also men’s mental health month. It’s a time to honor dads—but it can also be a powerful reminder that men, too, face emotional struggles. For many fathers, intended fathers, and men experiencing infertility or loss, anxiety can sneak up quietly, hidden behind long work hours, emotional distance, or a sense of pressure to “hold it all together.” Unfortunately, society often overlooks the mental health needs of dads and reinforcing outdated stereotypes that discourage vulnerability.

Image from Unsplash by Bennie Bates 5/20/25

Whether you are actively parenting children, facing fertility challenges or perinatal loss, you most likely feel pressure to hold everything together. You want to be a good partner, a good parent, a good friend, a good employee, but struggle to manage all these roles and responsibility without appearing “weak.” In this week’s blog, learn about what contributes to feelings of stress and anxiety for dads like you and why it’s important you get help.

Why the Parenting Journey Can Trigger Anxiety in Dad’s—And Why It’s Often Overlooked

Perhaps you and your partner are trying to conceive, are going through fertility treatments, have experienced perinatal loss, or are currently parenting a child. Your intent is to be a dad. You’re giving loving dad energy. There are many ways men ‘father’ whether that’s to a biological child of their own, to loved ones, or the community. I’m curious what comes to your mind when you hear the word ‘father?’ In any part of what comes up for you include stress? Pressure? Anxiety? It can for many men, especially when your receive messages from your family and society that becoming a parent looks a certain way.

In my experience, intended dads trying to grow their families, who’ve experienced disappointment and loss feel like they have to be ‘the strong one’ in the family while often suffering in silence. When you find out you and your partner aren’t pregnant or you experienced another loss, you’re allowed to feel things too. You’re allowed to be sad, mad, frustrated, confused. All emotions are valid. The non-gestational partner experiences strong emotions even though they aren’t carrying. Be careful not to minimize your experience, while also recognizing it is different than your partner’s (whether they are carrying or not). Every individual’s experience with conception, loss, and parenting looks different.

Parents of all genders experience the burdens of financial stress, cultural expectations, managing powerful emotions, and relationship struggles, but patriarchal assumptions can impact you to feel these stressors in specific ways. You don’t always have to be the ‘strong one.’ It’s okay to admit you need help and support, that is the braver path to take. Conception, loss, and parenting are all extremely challenging, even if you aren’t the gestational parent. It can be helpful to think about your relationship with your father and identify what are thing you’d like to take into your journey and what you’d like to leave behind.

The Mental Load of Modern Fatherhood and Intended Dads

Image from Unsplash by Ben Tofan 5/20/25

The cultural assumption that men and dad’s should “have it all together” can be extremely detrimental. Most men I’ve worked with have a strong urge to ‘fix’ things. Conception and loss rarely are easily ‘fixed’, and they usually bring strong emotions that many men were never taught how to manage. You might feel as if you aren’t ‘protecting’ your family. Suppression of challenging emotions can lead to increased irritability, emotional distancing, overworking, and neglect of supportive relationships. Avoidance of these issues can lead people to engage in shameful and secretive behaviors like substance abuse, gambling, and reckless behavior.

Many men feel a lack of confidence in the support they are currently giving their family. As a hopeful dad to be, your body isn’t the one going through appointment after appointment. You don’t know the physical sensations of losing a pregnancy or peeing on a stick for the hundredth time. That’s okay. No one is expecting you to have that experiential knowledge. But there are many ways you can show up and be supportive, both for yourself and your partner. The worst thing you can do is shut down and not address what’s happening. This will cause you and your family more pain than you’re already experiencing. The culture of your family of origin as well as the wider cultures which in you reside will significantly impact your experiences with strong emotions.

Steps to Take If You’re Stressed or Anxious

1.     Find Support: Do not do this alone. Research shows that peer support is a game changer. Find other dads or dads to be. Postpartum Support International, Resolve, RTZ Hope are all great resources.

2.     Talk to your partner: Share what you’re experiencing. Talk. Listen. There’s enough room for both of your experiences. You might think not sharing your emotions and experience with them is protection, but it usually just causes people to feel more alone and isolated.

3.     Learn how to manage challenging emotions: this can be done in personal and professional ways. Different people have different skill levels related to managing strong emotions.

4.     Identify and execute valued action: Anxiety and stress can lead to you engaging in actions that aren’t reflective of the life you want to live. Re-orient and dedicate yourself to actions that align with your values.

If you're a dad —or love one—who’s quietly struggling with anxiety, you’re not alone. Therapy isn’t a weakness; it’s a powerful step toward strength, stability, and connection.

Looking for support? Reach out and schedule a free consultation for anxiety therapy in Seattle and take a meaningful step toward mental wellness this Father’s Day.

About the Author: Seattle Washington Therapist, Chelsea Kramer LMFT PMH-C

Chelsea Kramer is a Seattle Therapist who works with individual and families facing grief, anxiety, reproductive and medical mental health concerns.

Learn more about Chelsea’s specialties: grief, anxiety, infertility, pregnancy loss, chronic illness, menopause, medical trauma

Learn more about Chelsea

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