Pregnancy Loss

People experiencing pregnancy loss can feel shock and be in denial. Initially, there’s a sense of numbness and detachment from reality. It’s normal to feel anger, sadness, isolation, and irritation. Grief and loss cannot be rushed and if it’s suppressed, it will come out in other ways.

YES. You are 100% still a parent if you lost your baby at any stage.

This isn’t always a helpful way to think of grief related to pregnancy loss. It can be more helpful to think about your relationship to your loss. That is what primarily changes over time. As time goes on, the pain remains, however people often site they’re able to remember more of the positive memories associated with their baby and pregnancy. Therapy is a safe space where I can walk along side you, advocate and witness your pain.

There exists a common misconception that feelings of grief related to pregnancy loss are directly correlated with the length of gestation. This just isn’t true and leads to minimization of peoples’ loss experiences. No matter the stage of pregnancy or length of gestation, your feelings and loss are valid.

They are essentially the same thing. A miscarriage happens when the fetus spontaneously aborts, typically because it wasn’t able to develop properly. I use the term pregnancy loss to encompass any loss throughout the perinatal period, including stillbirths, termination for medical reasons, and infant loss.

1 in 4 pregnancies will end in loss. That means someone in your life has most likely experience this kind of loss. Just because it’s common or normal doesn’t mean it’s easy. It does mean that you aren’t alone and there are many other people out there who can help support you through this challenging time.

Processing your loss may look different than other people. Firstly, lets get you to a physically safe space, one where you can be authentically you. Let’s get you around safe people. Let’s make sure you’re eating, drinking and sleeping. Initially, these basic tasks are going to be your self care. Be patient and take each step moving forward on your own time. Get support. Talk about your baby with safe people. Build memories and honor them. You now will work on forming a new bond with your baby even though they aren’t here. You are still and forever will be connected to them as you are their parent.

It’s important to have a solid relationship with your care provider, whether that is with your Primary Care Doctor, OBGYN or Fertility Doctor. This relationship will help ensure you’re treated in a trauma informed manner, your questions are answered, and your team can collaborate as appropriate. We know peer support can be an amazing healer after such a loss as it’s a very specific kind of loss, although the timing of engaging in this type of support is important. An organization that does great work and that I’m involved with is Return to Zero: Hope. They provide support and education to families and providers. I encourage other self care activities that focus on the body feeling good such as massage, acupuncture, floating, etc.